Sunday, August 17, 2008

My Heart Hurts...A Lot

I can't believe it's here. Tomorrow I take my baby to Kindergarten. It's such a strange feeling. I am so proud of Evan and the fact that he is ready and going to "big school," but my heart hurts. Time has gone by much faster than I would have liked. I have spent the last two nights lying in bed with him watching him sleep and listening to him breathe and smelling the sweet strawberry scent from his shampoo. I'm excited, anxious, nervous, and sad all at the same time.

We took Evan by his new room on Thursday. There was no one around. We just wanted him to see it before open house the next day, so that it would be more familiar to him.

Evan outside his Kindergarten classroom.

Ella Grace wasted no time. She immediately found one of her favorite books and made herself right at home at a table.

Friday night was "Open House." There was an assembly where they introduced all the teachers, went over information, and I had a chance to join the PTA. Once we were dismissed, we headed over to Evan's classroom so we could drop off his school supplies and meet his teacher. There are two children Evan already knows that will be in his class, so that was a good feeling knowing he already has friends. He got to meet his teacher, and I was so proud to hear him say, "Hi, Mrs. Ross." So cute! While I visited with his new speech therapist (I am going to love her), he was busy playing with toys. I think he is going to do just fine.

Evan and Derek outside waiting to go to Open House.

You sure need a lot of stuff to start school. I don't remember ever having to bring all of this to school. Do you?

All in all, I feel really good about Evan's class, his teachers and the others that will work with him. I am still anxious over some other issues, but I am praying those things will all work themselves out. I know tomorrow will be difficult (mainly for me), but I'm ready for a new chapter and ready to see all Evan will learn. I have been a little teary the last couple of weeks. I'll even admit I have been tearing up at this Wal-Mart back to school commercial. Ha! It features the mom talking about how she "won't be there to show them how great he is." That is exactly how I feel. Evan is such a great little guy and I want them all to know it. I don't think it will take long for everyone at school to figure it out though. :) He's pretty easy to fall in love with.

Please pray for us tomorrow, especially for Evan. I pray that he adjusts to his new school, surroundings and teachers easily, that he is calm, and that he has fun. I'll definitely keep you all posted tomorrow on how the first day goes. Thank you so much. Hugs!


The Garners said...

He will do great!!! I know it's a time full of mixed emotions for your whole family, but this will be such an exciting new chapter for him/you all! I'll be thinking about you tomorrow! Is EG doing a MDO program this fall--I can't remember if you've mentioned this before?

Anonymous said...

Leigh Ann,
I'm praying for you! Evan will do wonderfully and you are such a wonderful mama!!! You are so prepared and have prepared Evan so well for this next step! This is a HUGE and exciting milestone! I can't wait to hear how Evan's first day went(and yours!) and will be thinking about you! Take Care!
Audrey :)

Jessica said...

I will say a prayer for you tomorrow with the big first day of school! Say a prayer for me too... teachers need it just as much! : )

Candy said...

I will be praying for you!!! I feel alittle better about 1st grade than I did last year, but it is still hard. I love that EG read books in Evan's new classroom because that is EXACTLY what Ella did today in Ethan's room at Open House. I REALLY think they are just alike!!! I'm so glad that you feel at peace with alot of things (his teacher, therapist, kids he knows in his class). Evan will do GREAT and love his new "big" school. I'm praying for you and can't wait to hear all about the big day tomorrow and see LOTS of pictures. :) HUGS!!!

Meredith said...

Aww Leigh Ann, it will be great, I know it! I wll pray for ya'll! Evan is so precious and he will love school. I just know it! That is a lot of school supplies! OH and I tagged you on my blog!

Betsy said...

We are so in the same boat, aren't we Leigh Ann? Just two mommys who love their boys!! I will be praying for you and thank you so much for praying for me!! We will make it! :) I hope Evan has a GREAT year!!

Heather said...

Leigh Ann- I will be praying for you tomorrow- this was such a sweet post, and you are just the best mom! It made me emphathize even though Connor is only 3- my time will be here soon!
Love ya!

ShortOne said...

i have watched Evan for so many years, and i know this is so hard for you. but i also know that evan is ready. i will keep you in my prayers, but i know you, and know you will be strong and get through this. you are so positive and so involved in evan's life and that will be one of the biggest differences in his success!!! please remember you can call me anytime for any of those questions that may come up you need help with.

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

(For you, my friend, for tomorrow morning. Evan will do amazing!)

He started school this morning, and he seemed so very small
As I waited there beside him in the kindergarten hall.
And as he took his place beside the others in his class,
I realized how too soon those first few years can pass.

Remembering that I saw him as he first began to walk,
The words that we sounded out when he began to talk.
This little boy is much absorbed in learning how to write
It seems that he must have grown into boyhood overnight!

My eyes were blurred, but hastily I brushed the tears away,
Lest by some word or sign of mine I mar this big first day.
Oh, how I longed to stay with him and hold him by the hand,
To lead him through the places that he may not understand.

And something closely kin to fear was mingled with my pride.
I knew that he'd no longer be the baby at my side.
But he must have a chance to live, to work his problems out,
The privilege to grow and learn what life is all about.
And I must share my little boy with friends at home, at work and play.
He's not a baby anymore, Evan started school today.

Laura said...

Oh, Leigh Ann, my heart goes out to you! I struggled last week with Alise starting Pre-K3 and was so amazed at how my friends' prayers lifted me up that day. I pray the same will happen for you! Prayers & hugs!

Kelly said...

I bet he will do so good!!!!!!!!
I know tomorrow will be a tough one but I will be praying for you! I can't wait to hear all about it IN PERSON ON SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Faith said...

I'll be praying Leigh Ann! I know he will do so well!! Can't wait to see pictures and hear all about it!

Jill said...

I put Brock to bed tonight and have since fallen to pieces. I will pray for you tomrrow and you pray for me. This is a tough one!

Jacquie said...

Oh, Leigh Ann, I feel for you, I really do. I've been there (although it's been so long ago now)... and it's hard. You will be happy for him, too, while you're sad for yourself. There are several moms at our church taking their little ones to Kindergarten... I'll be praying for all of you!

Megan L Hutchings said...

My heart hurts for you BUT I am also excited for him ;)! You & Derek are AMAZING parents and you have done such a great job preparing him for this day! I will be thinking about and praying for you all day friend. He is going to do FABULOUS!

Deidre said...

He WILL be just fine and so will you!! (I need to read that for myself :) I was a basket case when E went to kindergarten. She starts first grade on Wednesday (her first year all day) and I'm so sad. I feel guilty for feeling sad, but I am nonetheless.

I will pray for you! You will feel at ease when you see how wonderful he does.

Amy said...

I pray that Evan simply LOVES school. It is so sad sending them, isn't it? Luke started 2nd grade today and he's just an old pro now! Ha! Can't wait to hear how he liked it!

Melissa said...

leigh Ann, I will be praying that he not only has a great first day but a great year. We know how important the right teachers are so we will pray for them as well.

Meagan said...

I can't wait to hear how it goes today Leigh Ann! I am praying for y'all and I just know in my heart that it is going to be a great year for Evan!!!! Keep us posted!

Katie said...

Bless his little big boy heart! I'm saying a prayer for him now! :O)

His Doorkeeper said...

I'm getting by late but I hope today went really well and that Evan had a great experience today and wants to go back!

Looking forward to hearing about his day......AND yours!

Lauren said...

Holy cats! There's enough school supplies on your floor to equip an entire grade!

My heart hurts for you, feeling like that.